I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
