bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize