is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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