friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
