and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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