her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
