Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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