Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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