I look better un-naked...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
