Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize