Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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