Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
