i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
