he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
