he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
