Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
