Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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