yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
