I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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