I just threw up on my dentist
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
