I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
