i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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