Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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