Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I will be naked everywhere
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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