we have officially lost it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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