Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
