East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
