We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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