I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm really busy with my period
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