I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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