the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
