Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
