Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
