To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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