you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
