now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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