I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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