She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
