Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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