sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
