That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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