I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
