Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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