apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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