with your own penis?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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