I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
