yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
