why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
