addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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