billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
