He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
