you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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