If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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