just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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