honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
