How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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