he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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