Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
