Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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