I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
