are you still at the devil's house?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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