Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish you could order shots online.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
