No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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